lonliness birds

God please send some motivation. I'm giving my all, trying my absolute hardest. Yet when I come home, I find it still let's them down. The fatal flaws are found by their searching eyes. I don't want the lonliness birds to come lay nest in my heart. God bring joy and hope. I trust you can provide.

fml.

today is overwhelming.
god, be my everything.
please.

i guess its time.

I'm taking a break. From many things. My life (as of late) has been a heap of jumbled aspirations; of hopes, wants, needs. Pressures and obligations have been weighing me down. Today, I made some final changes to my schedule. Hopefully now I can have some more time to just marinate and grow (spiritually/mentally). My life has been overworked and over-planned to the point that I was becoming weary. My soul just needs a little break. I pray that these changes will help, and that Satan will stop randomly beating me down (as always in the areas he knows I struggle most). I thank God for the people that helped me through these challenging last few weeks (I am especially grateful for the placement of a new mentor into my life, and am also so thankful for those special semi-weekly coffee shop chats with my sis). Although its freaking hard sometimes, God provides so much for me; more than I deserve and could ever conceive. God, restore my love, restore my soul.

yet.

If it doesn't break your heart is it love?
No, if it doesn't break your heart it's not enough.
It's when you're breaking down with your insides coming out.
That's when you find out what your heart is made up of.
- Jon Foreman