prayer.

Please pray for me for endurance, to push through obstacles that are holding me back.I don't want to return to the same place I was at before. God has been so good to me lately, but I can definitely hear satan calling me back into old ways. Right now it's stronger than ever.

Its kind of discouraging, because I know I was getting on the right track and doing what needed to be done, stepping up in new ways, and taking challenging opportunities; but now I think maybe it's that I've poured so much of myself into other people that I've lost focus on how important it really is to change things in my own life. I love helping people and especially doing the little things that mean something to others, but maybe I just had the wrong mindset. I was probably doing it just to keep myself busy and distract myself so I wouldn't need to confront the issues at hand in my personal life. I guess I'm just asking for prayer for endurance, and focus, so that I might be able to bring things back to God, lay it all at his feet, and get rooted in him, so that someday i can become a "mighty oak, a planting of the Lord, for the display of his spendor" (Isaiah 61:3).

I would also appreciate prayer for God to provide a strong friend. I've had so many friends placed in my heart recently, but either they have no passion to live for Christ, or they are just too busy. I miss having a best friend who was always by my side. It would be such an encouragement during this period.

God knows whats best, and I am in no way trying to complain, because I know my life is so blessed. God's provided for me, and I know he will fulfill my thirst to better know and seek him out in my life. But for the couple people that read this, those are just a few things that I'd really appreciate prayer for. thanks.

let your love be strong

I went to the fair with Max on Wednesday, and I cant believe what a wonderful time we had :) I'm not one to get super excited over the fair, but I was looking forward to spending time with max. We both dont like thrill rides, so we only went on the spinny one (looks like a giant UFO) and waited (unsucessfully) for a grumpy ferris wheel attendee to open up the ride. I always like looking at all the animals, photography, baking, and venders, so we had a great time ;)

This was the first week since Aaron left that the worship band played all together on a Wednesday. Although it was a little unnerving knowing that Aaron wouldn't be there to lead with his solid guitar playing and vocals, Dennis really stepped up and gave his all. I was thinking today that I am so thankful for the talent that God provides. Every member in the band this last week was really using their talents to give glory to God, and thats what its all about in the end. It doesn't matter who we have leading or if we mess up; as long as we're pointing others to God and letting him use us for his purpose. A verse that came to my mind today was 1 Thes. 1:3 "...your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ." and Philippians 1:18 "...the important thing is that in every way...Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice" and continuing in verse 20 "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body.."

I've been thinking a lot lately about how God uses our bodies as his limbs, to reach out to other people. I believe that if I surrender my body, wholly to him, he can and will do great things through me. Even if i don't know exactly what action to take or the words to say, If I give him control, he's gonna take care of it and bless whatever situation I come into contact with. It's so relieving that I don't need to worry about a thing. God will provide. And although it's hard for me personally to turn over every aspect of my life to Christ, I know that he's got it all planned out for me.

some random verses that stood out to me this week:

Colossians 1:29 "to this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me" (so cool that its HIS energy I can rely on, not my own)

Phil. 2:13 "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose"

Colossians 2:7 "continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness"

Phil 4:19 "and my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus"

Colossians 3:16 "let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God"

Ephesians 3:20 "now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine , according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Jesus Christ throughout all generations, for ever and ever!"

Ephesians 5:19 "...sing and make music from your hearts to the Lord"

girls night goodness

Just got back from a high school girls night, and it was super rad! Lovely dinner complete with chips, salsa, homemade guac, salad, pizza, and brownies. I also was able to say goodbye to Felix, who I will miss terribly :( but thankfully we got to do some pranking together tonight before he left. Meg, Kendalyn, Shannon, Joyce, Felix, and I all TPd Jake's room (with a little help from his parents, neighbors, and little brother). Then we completed our evening by tyedye-ing shirts in the Snyder's front lawn. Lovely lovely time, and I am so thankful to be so blessed with encouraging, fun, and random friends and leaders. Thanks God!

wide awake and smiling

I used to have a blog back in the day, but i forgot my password and never got back into it. So i think i shall ;)

So far, this summer has been rad. Started with Germany:

My mom and i went on a missions trip with Coastline Bible Church to Kandern, Germany to help at the Greater European Mission's headquarters. It was mainly a labor trip, with much time spent digging trenches, mortaring, kauking, tile laying, and construction. I am so glad i had the opportunity to go and help encourage the missionaries at the base, and also to reach out to surrounding neighbors in Kandern.

It was also a huge plus that i brought my Nikon D80, Nikon F100, and fish eye because i got to take some pictures. Bob, the main leader at the base, gave me a Pentax film camera and lenses too!

After Germany, a group of us went up with the youth group to spend the week at Hume Lake.

I hadnt been too excited about the trip, but God definitely worked in me and changed my attitude.

One of the nights, after evening chapel, the speaker said that if anyone wanted to receive prayer or make a decision they should stay behind. The whole time during chapel I remember thinking that I didn't even feel like i should be in the Lord's house because I didn't deserve to and had not been in the right place with God to be in his temple. I found myself watching all of my friends file past me out of the church while i stayed. I had no idea why i was staying, but i couldn't bring myself to leave.

One of the leaders came up to me and we talked for a while, and she began to pray with me. Then my leader came back into the chapel and said she knew that she needed to be there. I just broke down and started crying. I have been struggling with some different issues and have been bitter, hard hearted, and unwilling to change. We talked through everything. I had been trying to handle everything on my own and had shoved aside all of the help she had been graciously giving me. I had stopped talking to God because i felt too corrupt to be involved in a relationship with him. I had treated everyone around me as if they were crap, and my vision of the world, people, and relationships had been distorted by my selfishness and the ways of this world. We prayed and I told God that I wanted to learn to accept his grace, even though I surely don't deserve it.

So now, I'm trying to get better, even if it means that everything will change. I'm having to push myself to follow through and change my distorted vision of myself and others. I'm trying to get into the Word on a daily basis and meditate on it to keep myself in check with what He wants me to be doing. Im also trying to focus on serving and encouraging others. Hopefully my new internship at Coastline will give me many new opportunities to stretch and grow.

I am so thankful for the amazing leaders God has placed in my life. I loveeeee them to death right now. Thank you all for not giving up on me and for being so encouraging and patient with me, even when i was harsh and bitter. Thank you for being here for me to cry on your shoulder. Thank you for changing your schedule around just to spend time with me. Thank you for always pointing me to God. I thank God for you every day.